My BRAIN was in PAIN, even when I had kept it at home – Judwaa 2 Movie Review

FULL MOVIE REVIEW: #Judwaa2
(Lamba hai but padhlo, FREE hai😁😜)

STORY: Pehli waali Judwaa agar yaad nahin toh waapis dekh lena.

ANALYSIS:
Thanks to #Judwaa2, I didn’t know Varun & David hate other so much that they both made a film to exhibit it to the world. The Director can’t remember directing and the Actor can’t forget over-acting! This shameless rip off of 1997 Salman Khan’s Judwaa is the worst of worst that could have been served to our intelligence in today’s time. Read on to find out why…. (plz so mat jana😢)

PURAANI (ACHCHI) YAADEIN:
This movie is the perfect example of everything that should have been left in the 90s for good. It’s absolutely shocking & disheartening to see such tasteless humor coming from David Dhawan – The Once Upon A Time King of Comedies, before Bollywood was blessed with Priyadarshan. I absolutely LOVED all Dhawan films that he dished out in the 90s (I still laugh whenever they are on TV), but recalling his recent other-side with Chashme Baddoor, Rascals, Main Tera Hero & now Judwaa 2, I am starting to doubt whether it was actually him or was it Govinda, Kader Khan & Salman Khan who did the magic for him. His earlier flicks were the most entertaining in terms of actors, timings, dialogue deliveries & everyday funny characters who were also infused with a nice dose of varied emotions. Each and every side-kick in his movies was an important part of the whole package, be it Johnny Lever, Razak Khan, Tiku Tulsania, Dinesh Hingoo, Shakti Kapoor, Anupam Kher, Bindu or even the Monkey in Aankhen (not Chunkey Pandey, the real one), all these people added LIFE to his illogical plots and we never felt guilty of having a hearty laugh. Even if the scene wasn’t funny enough, most of times there were these hilarious dialogues & the actors who managed to evoke uncontrollable laughter. But with his latest product, everything seems to be going against the usual tide. The national award winning actor Manoj Joshi and celebrated names like Rajpal Yadav & Sachin Kedkar are reduced to just being the typical ‘Hero ka dost’ & ‘Hero ka Papa’ respectively. They do nothing except adding to the already tiring length of the movie.

The ‘HIDDEN’ Disclaimer:
The so-called villain here keeps on repeating a particular sentence at different points in the film: ‘Main seedha point pe aata hoon’, I wished David also did the same right from the beginning. The Disclaimer should have read something like this: ‘Yeh film sirf aur sirf mere bete ko next Salman Khan banane ki koshish mein banaayi gayi hai. Agar iss douraan aapke dimaag ka mental balance kho jaaye toh main ya iss film se juda huva koi bhi vyakti iska zimmedaar nahi hai. All the characters, places and incidences depicted in the movie are as fake & loud as my son’s over ambitious acting capabilities. No animals have been harmed during the making of this film as they refused to act opposite Varun Dhawan.’

PERFORMANCES:
Varun imitates Salman Khan SO HARD & SO BADLY that you feel angered & restless. The script gives him ample number of excuses to display his bare body; and at other times when he gets bored of doing so, he even wears the same clothes as Salman in the original Judwaa. Slow-mo action sequences & Superstar-like entry scenes, Varun has been portrayed as the next big thing, but there is no single trace of the old goofiness & cuteness that comes so naturally to our Bhaijaan.
In a broad perspective, it can be said that Varun has all the qualities of being the new-gen Salman Khan – given his fan base & track record so far, but the problem is he already thinks he is Salman Khan. There is absolutely NO SCOPE for subtlety in his acting. For him, the spelling of Acting probably starts with an O, i.e, Over-acting!😜 Sorry for the ridiculous joke😢 (This is also something which the makers should have said in the end credits, I was waiting for it very innocently😐)

Jacqueline Fernandes should be labelled as the brand ambassador of on-screen Filmy Bimbos, she takes women empowerment 4 steps backward each time she appears on the frame. ROFL!😂

DID YOU KNOW?: 1) Taapsee Pannu’s captivated family member was released by the producers as soon as she finished the last shot. It felt as if she would break out into a loud cry any moment for having to sign up for this sh*t.
2) After watching Judwaa2, Pink DVDs📀 all over the globe have decided to dig a grave & leave for the heavenly abode👣 RIP (advance).

#Judwaa2 is 65% dialogue by dialogue, scene by scene & shot by shot copy of the original. And for the rest 35%, you will end up introspecting your life decisions. Forceful kisses, crotch lowering, sexist jokes, vulgar gestures, mindless humor & the ear piercing background music; it’s 1997 or 2017, you will never know! Like no woman in the movie has any problem with any harassment or molestation happening! WTF!?!

Also if the initial 1.5hrs hammering doesn’t seem to be provoking enough, there is one football scene towards the end of the movie which will literally EXPLODE all your senses!!! *Imagine a cooker building up the pressure & then finally it blasts* That scene alone is enough to compete with some of the South film crap that you must have come across.

MY SAAMAJ SEVA FOR YOU READERS:
For those who would say that the trailer should have been an enough hint already, yes I wasn’t expecting a Godfather or a Baahubali out of #Judwaa2, but the least I can ask for is entertainment, which will only be found by kids, teens & VD fans. Rest slightly intelligent peeps like me who just can’t switch off their brains before entering the cinema hall, can stay miles away from the theatre this week.

CONCLUSION: [Sorry, you will have to PM me if you want to read a more detailed analysis, I have a lot more to rant & vent my frustration on😜(no joke!) *runs*🏃]

#Judwaa2 has excellent cinematography & also London is amazing, but surely I didn’t go to the theatre for that!
Rating: 0.5/5 (For nostalgia factor & 2 reprised songs).
Ek Varun tolerate nahi hota aur yahaan do do daal diye. DOUBLE the DHAWANS, DOUBLE the TORTURE!

P.S: 1) My Business Prediction: 100cr+. Hamare desh mein dimaag waali public kam hai. This will prove to be a Full On Family Entertainer after a long time👍👍
2) Like, Share & Comment button is FREE. Plz use it😊😊
3) Yaar yeh Mukesh ka sahi hai, har bakwaas picture shuru hone se pehle hi cigeratte phoonkne se iski maut ho jaati hai. #LifeGoals

#Judwaa2Review #NilzRavReview #NilzReview #BollywoodMovieReviews #September2017 #SalmanKhan #VarunDhawan

If you have liked this review, please do take 2 seconds to leave me your feedback & thumbs up in the comment section below😊👇

– Neelam Joshi
Dubai, UAE

 

 

Yeh Barfi Bohot Hi Meethi Hai Aur Isko Khaakar Aapko Diabetes Bhi Nahi Hogi – Bareilly Ki Barfi Review

SUMMARY:
The movie succeeds in bringing to table more than what was promised in the trailer. 100% FAMILY Entertainer. With a very Low Budget, Fitting Star Cast, Funky Songs/Music & the AWESOMEST Comic Dialogues till the very last scene, #BareillyKiBarfi is a winner👌

PERFORMANCES:
First half belongs to Kriti Sanon & Ayushmann Khurana, but the STAR performer is Rajkummar Rao who walks away with the cake👌His character shall win praises. A KHATARNAAK talent like him needs to be seen largely in the commercial space👏
Seema Bhargava as Bitti’s (Kriti) mom is a theatre actor as we all know & with #BareillyKiBarfi she once again proves why Bollywood needs more of her desperately.
Ayushmann Khurrana is very lovable & a charming guy who plays a shade of baddie in the 2nd half. But we want to love him as much as dislike him (watch to find out why)😉😃
Kriti Sanon’s character may remind you of Diana Penty in Happy Bhaag Jayegi & Kangana of Tanu Weds Manu in parts. The film mostly revolves around her & she plays her role beautifully & looks adorable too.

POSITIVES:
1) Though the 1st half of the story is very similar to Saajan (1991), but it does hold on it’s own post interval. Fun & Engaging throughout!
2) Editing is firm with a run time of 2hrs. The quick exchange of dialogues, one-liners, small twists, comedy & Rao are the plus points.
3) Humor is no where close to being slapstick or loud (the IN-YOUR-FACE kind). There is no one single sexist/regressive or double meaning joke which our Bollywood thrives on in the name of comedy. BKB is a huge lesson in that department to other writers of our industry. It’s a full PARIVAARIK (Rajshri approved😜) drama.
4) A SPECIAL mention to Javed Akhtar’s narration. Not the regular commentary type narration like other movies, it’s fully mazedaar!😃👌

NEGATIVES:
Except that the climax becomes predictable as it approaches & two or three ‘thanda’ scenes in the second half, there is nothing much to complain. This is OK given the genre as we of course didn’t go to watch a suspense thriller.

OVERALL:
Desi cinema in terms of story backdrops & language usage is ruling the Box Office since some time now & #BareillyKiBarfi is a superb addition to that.
As a well made ROM-COM, this one has full chances of being a success at the ticket counter, given people ACTUALLY go & watch it in theatre! Young or Old, all will enjoy.

CONCLUSION:
#BareillyKiBarfi is filled with good actors & super fun moments, a regular story but with a modern take.
Yeh Barfi bohot hi meethi hai😊👌but diabetic patients can also watch pet bhar ke😃. Also, Bareilly ka Jhumka toh famous hai hi, ab Barfi bhi ho jaayegi…Haha!
Rating: 3.5/5. Definitely watch it👍

P.S: Jhumka Gira Re…. Bareilly Ke Bazaar Mein (just in case kisiko upar wala reference samajh mein na aaya ho)

If you have liked this review, please do take 2 seconds to leave me your feedback & thumbs up in the comment section below😊👇

– Neelam Joshi
Dubai, UAE

Facebook Link here:

https://www.facebook.com/neelam.joshi28/posts/10154594701407186

Toilet Ek Prem Katha Review – This TOILET does not Stink, but our unawareness does!

The ‘Swachh Azaadi’ words quoted in the poster is a subtle reference not only to clean our country from tangible dirt, but also to free ourselves from all the religious, cultural & traditional elements which pollute our progress as a human being & nation at large.

STORY: The film is a social satire with central focus on Prime Minister Modi’s Swachh Bhaarat campaign with Toilet🚽 being the main villain. The premises is based in a village near Mathura. Keshav (Akshay Kumar) is a 36 years old single, small time businessman living with his (Mohabbatein ke Narayan Shankar se bhi zyada strict) dad and (Andaz Apna Apna ke Prem se bhi zyada sweet) brother, while Jaya (Bhumika Pednekar) is a strong, fierce & a highly educated girl who belongs to quite an affluent family. Once married, Jaya immediately realizes & blames Keshav for hiding the fact that there is no toilet inside the house, and therefore, she has to go out in open to relieve herself each morning along with the other females of the village in their ‘LOTA’ Party. She doesn’t agree to this & eventually returns to her parent’s house. The essence of the movie is Keshav’s struggle & fight against his dad, the village, the cultural barriers, the system and the government to get a toilet build (ghar ke andar) in order to bring his beloved wife back.

SOCH, SAUCH AUR SOUCHAALAY: (Positives)
1) Open defecation in still a major problem in India & we learn about the ill-effect of the same as the movie progresses. The message is very well bought forward & it helps in understanding the complications faced by villagers (especially females) when a simple facility of a toilet is not made accessible to them.
2) A COMPLETE ENTERTAINER after a very long time. For me, there was no single dull moment. I enjoyed it thoroughly till the last scene & so did the audience.
3) Performances – The casting & acting chops are absolutely PERFECT. Akshay has given his best this year 4th time in a row. Bhumika continues to shines in her 2nd film after Dum Lagaa Ke Haisha. Anupam Kher is the FUNNIEST man here with his obsession for Sunny Leone & all things adult😂. Divyendu Sharma is a talent to watch out for. Sudhir Pandey completely bites into the character of a Pandit who is full of old age religious beliefs, superstitions & an orthodox mindset. Shubha Khote bought back my memories of early 90s where she used to be a common face.
4) The comic take & seriousness of the issue goes hand in hand throughout the film and very nicely so. The clap-worthy Dialogues & Humor quotient is a winner all the way.

GANDHI BAAT: (Negatives)
1) Real life 50 years old Akshay Kumar ki on-screen ‘Tharak’ kab mitegi pata nahi😕🤔 Infact, I am so used to seeing him running behind her heroines for the past 20 years, that now neither his great stalking abilities nor his causal use of heavy sexual innuendos surprise me anymore.
2) Jaya seemed to be using her brains very well in ignoring Keshav’s romantic advances initially (since she is not interested in him), but this was only until Keshav breaks into a monologue boasting about his masculinity & superior intelligence. It only take 1 minute for Keshav to make Jaya fall in love with him, after which, she also starts stalking him for no reason. (Bollywood hai, sab chalta hai!)
3) As much as the 1st half is SUPER HILARIOUS, most of this humor consists of double meaning dialogues & cheap jokes; which may end up making you uncomfortable and awkward in places. (This is perhaps to justify the rural backdrop of the film, and in that sense, seems tolerable)
4) Others: a) The length of the movie is an issue. b) Both of Bhumika’s parents have been under-utilized even after being such known faces & great performers. c) Over promotion of BJP & Swachh Bhaarat Abhiyaan in the 2nd half (Both these points did not bother me personally though).

KAAM TAMAAM: (Conclusion)
#ToiletEkPremKatha is SUPER DESI at heart but will connect with audiences all over. It’s a WHOLESOME PACKAGE having an EXCELLENT blend of a serious social message, light romantic moments, mischievous & sarcastic humor, religious satire, Bollywood-ish drama & flawless performances. The movie should emerge as this year’s success based on the Mass & Class appeal of the subject.

RATING: 4/5 (This SHIT doesn’t stink, but the anti-BJP brigade has already found many excuses to FLUSH out an honest attempt anyway. But for the regular aam janta who generally seek Entertainment, Entertainment & only Entertainment, this Toilet will provide immense satisfaction…. the kind of which one would generally get… after taking a nice DUMP😂😜) GO WATCH! 👌👌

If you have liked this review, please do take 2 seconds to leave me your feedback & thumbs up in the comment section below😊👇

– Neelam Joshi
Dubai, UAE

Facebook Link here:

https://www.facebook.com/neelam.joshi28/posts/10154579639807186

Jab Harry Met Sejal & it had NOTHING to do with the audience!

“What you seek, is seeking you” – If this movie’s philosophy was true by any measures, I was apparently seeking boredom of 3 hrs followed by 2 hrs of cursing my own existence.

SUMMARY: This movie is the worst of all Imtiaz Ali & SRK movies so far. Poorest Direction, Poorest Music, Screenplay, Dialogues and…. feel free to add some more departments. I DARE you to like this lastest Imtiaz Ali movie.

STORY: There is NONE! Sejal (a senseless, immature, borderline stupid and horny girl) has lost her engagement ring during her family Europe trip. She realizes the same just before boarding the flight and so stays back alone to find the same (to find it ALL OVER Europe, bcoz she doesn’t even remember where she has lost it!! FML already). She also forces Harry (a charming/handsome but irritated/frustrated tour guide, who loves to talk to himself) to accompany her all over the trip locations to find the ring bcoz….god knows!

Trust me, they keep doing the same until just before the last 10 mins of the movie, in between they also randomly break into songs & dance on the streets of Europe, sleep in the open, try saving each other from completely “aa bail mujhe maar” waale goons (bcoz movie mein in criminals ka addition toh kuch nahi hai but action scenes aur screen time khichna toh padega na!), attend random wedding function, wear amazing clothes, cry to a random wall (kuch toh emotional angle ghusana hai), keep judging each other’s characters, keep wandering from one city to another (bcoz Imtiaz Ali ki travel movies hoti hai aur Europe bhi dikhana hai taaki 1 star rating toh mil jaay movie ko! – Keep reading to find out if they succeeded at that😉).

Infact, I was so frustrated and bored of what was happening (or not happening) on the screen after a point, I had to be my own film and start entertaining myself! Few gems of my sense of humor as below (Hashtag #SelfPraise😜):
After irritating the audience for probably the lengthiest 2 hours and 15mins of their lives, Harry says this to Sejal: “Bas, ab khatam kar dete hai is draamey ko…!”
Me: Bohot jaldi yaad aaya, plzz kar do! (I almost jumped in excitement ready to leave the theatre, the excitement didn’t last for long, there were still 20mins to go😭😭)
Again Harry to Sejal: “Yeh sab kya kar rahe hai hum…?”
Me: Kitne bhole log hai bechaare, audience ka ch*tiya kaat rahein hai aur inhe pata bhi nahi, shooo cute😊🖕.
Then again Harry mumbling to himself while Sejal is leaving at the airport: “Main bhi shaayad kuch dhoond raha hoon”
Me: Haan, mujhe pata hai woh kya hai… movie ki script!

MAGIC MOMENTS: (Spoiler Alert!)
Believe me, things just keep happening without a reason here.

1 – Harry gets flashes of his town in Punjab without any relevance of it in the movie (unnecessary & unrelated patriotism maybe?!) 2 – Sejal says that Rupen (her fiancé) & her family is extremely conservative, but then how come they are OK with her roaming around & staying with a complete stranger for days and days altogether?! 3 – Harry has a sudden realization that he should have proposed his love to Sejal before she left, so he actually travels to India, atlast only to find out that she has cancelled her wedding, bcoz duh, she is also in love with him. WOW! Such amazing fresh ideas that our writers come up with! Plz tell me if there is any Bollywood cliché that was missed here *slow clap*
4 – The ring in question, was in her bag itself all this while. (I googled ‘how to commit suicide in a movie theatre’ when this happened)
5 – TBH, I actually missed Ranbir Kapoor in few scenes (even though I know this would have been his 1450th attempt at ‘seeking something’ from life while travelling the world, but I still think he would have been much more relatable than SRK & Sejal put together).

THE ACCENT:
Ahem! Now let’s take few moments to talk about Anushka’s cringe-worthy accent.
Hi! Re-introducing myself, my name is Neelam Joshi, I hail from Gujarat & I am as much of a Gujju as any Gujju can claim to be. I have spent considerable no. of years in Gujarat & in Dubai amongst my ethnic groups to understand their diverse regional, cultural & language characteristics. OK, even though if not for trying garba steps on EDM & fantasizing about having chaas on a dry-day (shut up, dont judge me!), my thepla making skills should lend me enough guts to say what I am going to say. I CHALLENGE Imtiaz Ali to find me one female somewhere with an accent similar to Sejal (given her background) & if that happens, I pledge to give up on my Dhoklas & Fafdas …….. FOREVER!! (#Arrarara – in memories of Ketki Dave Kill yourself if you don’t remember her)
For the same reason, Sejal has to be my worst nightmare coming true! Imagine waking up one morning with an accent like that for the rest of your life! (Horror movie idea, anyone?) Every time she uttered something, I died a little with embarrassment

On a serious note (dare you laugh) I actually tried to imitate her stupid accent doubting my gujju-ness for a minute, and guess what, I FAILED! Hold on, I am taking two minutes to thank god for that. In other words, if there was ever going be a moment in my life where I was going to feel proud of my failure, this is it!

On a more serious note, films all over the world and it’s age-old stereotypical portrayal of movie characters go hand in hand since time immemorial. But then we are in 2017 for god’s sake, do we still need to be so ignorant about each other’s distinct backgrounds? In the age of google, social media & travel facilities, is it so hard to make yourself aware and grow out of the shackles of cultural clichés? What’s your answer Mr. Director? Aah! Maybe cinematic liberty or comic relief you say? MY FOOT!

But wait guys! Is this whole accent thing sounding like a personal rant to you since my own language is being targeted? Surprise! It actually is (LOL!) Yes, I AM OFFENDED. But I have a profound support theory to my rant, keep reading. Not all is bad here in #JHMS, at least a mainstream lead character like Sejal made me sympathize immensely with my Punjabi friends all over the globe Oh the torture they must be going through as soon as a Punjabi character jumps on screen!(ROFL!) Thanks to Hindi movies, until back to a few years, I actually thought saying ‘Balle Balle Shava Shava’ was their way of warding off evil forces around us & that consuming five pegs of alcohol was the easiest way of winning a dance competition (Crap, I am laughing on my own jokes now – #IAmSoFunny) And so I guess, a Sejal – a gujju caricature with ‘just an assuming typical accent’ is probably nothing in comparison (#PunjabisAreAlwaysHigh #Burraahh #BollywoodZindabad #RealLifeSucks #SoSad)

CONCLUSION: (Fweh finally! – See, I know what you are thinking)
If you feel you have a happy life and wish it to be the same, stay away from this disaster at all cost. Go watch a Chennai Express or a Happy New Year again, atleast it will give you something, SOMETHING!

RATING: 1/5 (Europe is DREAM, SRK is LOVABLE, Anushka is HORNY, Movie is a BOREFEST)

P.S: (Added fun segment for all vellas like me):
1) Harry’s real name is Harinder Singh Nehra. #BollywoodPunjabRockz

2) The alphabet ‘H’ at the end of CHAAS has been purposely avoided as a further proof to my gujju-ness. #OKBye #MeanCommentsWillBeDeleted #JSK

 

 

Jab Harry Met Sejal OR Jab SRK Met Disaster!

 

If you have liked this review, please do take 2 seconds to leave me your feedback & thumbs up in the comments section below😊👇

– Neelam Joshi
Dubai, UAE

Facebook Link here:

Raees Review: Baniye Ka Dimaag aur Miyanbhai Ki Daring, SRK’s return as the Original King!

Baniye Ka Dimaag aur Miyanbhai Ki Daring,
And by this, SRK’s return as the Original King! (Bad rhyme I know, but you got it na)

Star Factors:
With Raees, SRK proves why he is even more likeable when being the antagonist rather than a charming hero who’s usually busy spreading his arms, instead here you would see him breaking some for sure

As a total mix of typical 80’s potboiler having ample amount of maar-dhaad, khoon-kharaaba, dialogue-baazi, emotional drama, guns & explosions, songs & dances; Raees is Full-On Entertainment guaranteed.

Story:
Set in the early 80’s with a backdrop of Gujarat (a dry state), Shah Rukh Khan in and as Raees, is a soft hearted businessman cum gangster who does bad things for a good cause. As per his Ammijaan – ‘Koi dhandha chota nahi hota aur dhandhe se bada koi dharm nahi hota’. He lives his life on this principle until he realizes that he has gone too far in trusting the wrong people.
This is his journey from being a young boy engaged in illegal activities to a man with a loving persona, and the series of unfortunate events that ultimately turn him into a criminal. He is constantly chased by SP Majmudar (played by Nawazuddin Siddiqui) leading him to his known climax.

The Good:
1) The first half of Raees is GOLD. The dialogues & the ideas sprouting one after the other from our lead man’s brain in order to get his business running, keeps you engrossed and excited.
2) SRK steals the show. He is in his best form since Chak De India. He plots and plans, executes and survives, sings and dances, fights and romances. He fulfills all the need & look of the character.
3) How much more PERFECT can Nawazuddin Siddiqui get? Watch out for his timing and aimed-at-masses one-liners. He is super funny as a cruel but honest cop who won’t spare our Hero at any cost.

The Bad:
1) Raees is an uneven film. There are moments where you want applaud and whistle, but you might as well feel exhausted after a point. The oh-so-predictable scenes and finale makes the second half a bit boring.
2) Also, while you fully support & sympathize with our Hero’s antics during the first half, the second half sometimes confuses him into a slo-mo action hero who is egoist & angry, sometimes a messiah, and elsewhere a directionless goon who is having a hard time deciding on his next steps.
3) Not sure on why do filmmakers still need to have those meaningless song & dance sequences added in a serious film which end up doing nothing good to the story.
4) On Mahira Khan, as a viewer you just need to thank your stars that you won’t see her in any Indian movies hereafter. She is as ignorable in the movie as she would have been during Raees promotions (had she been given the chance, that is)

Conclusion:
Raees swings between the notions of a realistic filmmaker Rahul Dholakia on one hand and Bollywood’s Superstar SRK’s popularity on the other, together they try to create the best of Dhamaka, but during this process the feeling of ‘’yeh sab toh pehle bhi dekha hai’’ does not leave your mind completely. The outcome could have been the best had the director taken either of the one route – of making his product an out-an-out true-to-events rag to riches gangster drama, or a full blown masala flick. Raees makes a decent attempt in being both & emerges as a winner.
If you are a hard core Bollywood fan like me, Raees is one of those films straight from the 80s & 70s starring Amitabh Bachchan & written by Salim-Javed. The larger than life Hero-giri is in abundance.

Rating:
3.5/5 – Finally! We get to see SRK minus the habitual gimmicks (after long) & giving us a film worth watching! Go & enjoy a full circle of Bollywood from our Battery. Oops…I mean SRK! Battery nahi bolne ka!

P.S: Don’t forget to like, share & comment as usual

If you have read & liked this post, plz take 2 seconds to give me a feedback on the same

– Neelam Joshi
Dubai, UAE

Facebook Link here:

Befikre Review – A movie promoting Paris Tourism for over 2hours & 10mins.

Unfortunately, another piece of disaster follows one after the other. The number of goods films in 2016 can be literally counted on your finger tips.

This one can be easily labelled as TRASH OF 2016! Even Baar Baar Dekho with an overall rating of 2/5 stars look like “Moghal-E-Aazam’ in comparison to #Befikre.

Story: The Definition of New-Age cinema by Directors: Take random hero heroine (read sex starved perverts), shoot whatever you have in the name of ‘scenes’ in some exotic foreign locations, go on to show high-on-testosterones sexual relationship b/w leads with ‘no strings attached’ theory, make them fall in love anyway after lots of bematlab ka naach gana, start milna bichadna angle and reunite them in the end, and so to basically give a f*ck to the story. Because, it’s Bollywood afterall, remember!

Bhai, in sab mein loss toh sirf aur sirf audience ka hi hai naa. Why to pay heavy bucks to watch the same shit since the 90’s over and over again?

In #Befikre’s case, take a bed, mix together loads of Ae Dil Hai Mushkil, add equal portions of Neel n Nikki’s nanga-pan and cheating-baazi of Mera Yaar Ki Shaadi Hai; and if all this is not still enough, sprinkle some desi pana of DDLJ swad-anusaar, and YAY! The final product is one of the Europe’s newest recipe – “Eiffel De Pakaao”.

Performances: Ranveer Singh has built a reputation for himself over the years. He surely didn’t need a #Befikre in his career at this point, but then, who would reject having Aditya Chopra as a director on his resume?! Ranveer is the only saving grace in this over-the-top, trying-to-be-modern rom-com. But again, I can’t believe the audience yet isn’t horribly drained of Ranveer’s jumping jack-adrenaline overdosed-monkey acts & chichora guy image.

Also, did I forget to tell you #Befikre leads consist of 1 & half men? Yea, Vani Kapoor is the other half. She really needs to shoot the cameraman for capturing her like that. You just can’t take your eyes away from her horrendous lip job whenever she appears on screen. Her acting appears to be good in bits & pieces. But again, even a giraffe as a replacement would have done the same job as expected from Vani, minus the love making ofcourse, but then you never know with Ranveer! Err….

Anybody, like ANYBODY could have played Dharam & Shyra instead of Ranveer & Vani, and that wouldn’t have made an iota of difference to the overall value of this film.

Positives: The reasons you may like #Befikre will be because of its beautiful cinematography and Vaibhavi Merchant’s choreography, Vishal-Shekhar’s fresh songs, and few comical gags by Ranveer Singh that save the day. Ignore the above if you have watched or going to watch #Befikre only for those unrequired 36 moments of saliva exchange between Ranveer & Vani, in which case you will be getting much much more than that. Like c’mon, who wasn’t dying to see Ranveer Singh’s naked ass in a Aditya Chopra ‘family film’ haan! Ting….

Negatives: Almost Everything.

Conclusion: With the same ghisa pita story seen a million times in Hindi cinema & predictable ka Baap screenplay, #Befikre adds a page in Bollywood’s book of ‘How not to make a soft porn in the name of rom-com and try to fool today’s audience’ category.

A note to Aditya Chopra: I wanted to say that next time please pay your writers properly so that they can atleast write a better story for you to direct something, but then you know what, he himself is the story writer😂😂😂

If Adi was so desperate to make a 2016 modern era film, he could have easily created another zillionth version DDLJ itself, and that too would have been leaps ahead of #Befikre.

Rating: Going with a well deserved 0.5/5. Anything more would mean that #Befikre is watchable, which it’s not.

If you have liked this review, plz take a minute and leave your feedback/thumbs up in the comments section below:)👇

Facebook Review link here -> https://m.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=10153915045542186&id=558297185

#NilzReviews #BefikreReview #Befikre #RanveerSingh #VaniKapoor #AdityaChopra #YashRajFilms #Bollywood #HindiCinema #2016 #NilzRAV #India #BollywoodNews #BollywoodMovieReviews2016 #BollywoodMovies2016

My reply to Pinkvilla’s Friday Flashback: Ajay Devgn – Raveena Tandon Print-war!

Original Post: Flashback Fridays: What made Ajay Devgn advise Raveena Tandon to consult a psychiatrist?

Too many comments on the people involved here. Let me start by saying that it is no news that we are exposed to happenings in the film industry only as much as the journos and the media houses ‘wants us to know’. The other side (which is mostly the truth) is always kept hidden in their files never to be opened again. Why? Because SENSATIONALISM, SALES & TRP’s! The interviews and opinions back in the days were mostly one sided wherein one of the star is interviewed and that was taken to be as gospel truth! Thanks to internet today that these celebrities have an opportunity to clarify their stands. I am a complete Bollywood freak since birth and have never left a chance to get my hands on all the filmy mags I saw. Anyone who has even partially followed any of these three celebs in question will know who is honest and who is not.

Karishma was always known to be fierce in her chase of being on top of the game. All her professional and personal life decisions were influenced by her actress mommy Babita Kapoor (this too is widely known). But of course ‘’Dil Toh Hai Dil——Aagaya jo kisi pe pyaar kya kije”. She fell head over heels for Ajay and this didn’t go well with her mommy darling. Lolo was quite insecure & always seeing herself in competition with Raveena from day one that she entered the film scene. Nobody is unaware of her discomfort with Ravs both during the shoot of Aatish & AAA. (Time and again Farah Khan keeps mentioning this in her chat shows when asked about heroine rivalries in the 90s!) Manisha, Ayesha, Pooja also weren’t spared by Lolo. I remember one of her interviews saying ‘’Pooja Raveena & Manisha are B class heroines while I am the only A Class heroine’’ C’mon!! Who says that?? So now who better than Ajay to do a ”Chance Pe Dance” when he entered her life.

Ajay did Ek Hi Rasta, Dilwale & Divyashakti with Raveena. Dilwale was a super hit and Lolo being possessive about her then boyfriend led Raveena being thrown out of many big projects. Then came the BIG Filmfare Ajay Devgn interview, wherein Ajay spewed venom against Ravs (Reading it again will only make you raise your eyebrows on the questions being thrown at him by the interviewer!) This interview infuriated the cold war and made it all out in the open for public to read and gossip about. Both Raveena and Ajay knew each other from their college days (they were in same college!) and their families know each other very well as both their dads belonged to the films. How it is possible that they would suddenly turn lovers ONLY after entering the films and NOT before it!??! Ajay was with Lolo and Ravs with some XYZ initially, it was only after Lolo entering the scene that things turned ugly.

After all these years I have come across this #FlashbackFridays post on PinkVilla and so the Bollywood keeda in me couldn’t resist some research for past magazine interviews. Surprisingly, I came across none where Raveena talks anything about the love letters and suicidal attempts that the interviewer had asked Ajay about! These were indeed just random imaginations of the interviewer to get some controversial statements by provoking Ajay. Benefit of doubt to Ajay that even he may not be aware about what was going on, same like Raveena didn’t. But then again there was a suspicion when he lied in an earlier Stardust interview saying ”Raveena is no friend of mine and the family”, and then years later in Raveena’s show Isi Ka Naam Zindagi he had said ‘’we are friends for so long that she knows everything about me(!!??)’’. Taken, but there surely wasn’t any ‘’AFFAIR’’ or closeness between the two. Looks like there was only one person who could have benefited from all this. Yes, Lolo definitely walked away with the cake!

Sad that even after happily winning all the games and achieving what Lolo always wanted to, her personal life couldn’t go all smooth. Raveena already had PKP, Kshatriya, Dilwale, AAA, Laadla, Mohra, KKK to her credit much before Lolo entered the movies. It was only after Raveena left the films for personal reasons that producers started taking note of Lolo seriously. It’s further sad that her love life hasn’t been a happy one at all. First it was lost romance with Ajay, then a broken engagement with Abhishek and now a split with Sanjay Kapur. Sigh!

Ajay Devgn kept achieving milestones in his career one after the other and went one winning many National Awards that he rightfully deserved. Kajol and Ajay make a lovely couple and have remained strong in spite of Ajay’s link up stories with Kangna and Esha Deol surfing around repeatedly until back to few years. But not sure if he can be called a Casanova as much as Akshay Kumar (Let’s not even get started on AK. LOL!).

Come to think of it, looks like it’s only Raveena who has ultimately emerged as the tortoise who wins the race. A happy married life with two beautiful kids. No controversies or any other kind of non-sense. A strong woman who always speaks her mind and raises her voice against the wrong. She has forever maintained that she was never as overly ambitious like her contemporaries. I want to believe this as we all know she left the film scene right when she was at her peak only to get married to AK.

I am posting some links to Raveena’s interviews (only hers bcoz she is the only one I found speaking fearlessly on this whole issue. Also I think she is the most honest and real person Bollywood would ever see. Ever heard Ajay or Lolo speak about the past? NO.) Watch these interviews with some patience and you will know what exactly the things that were going on at that time. Hopefully this clears the doubts and we can finally move on from something which happened 20 years ago!!

Cheers – Nilz

Ajay Devgn and Me know each other since college days https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x6aElIDDf5Q
Affairs of Bollywood stars Revealed (Truth of Akshay & Ajay) https://books.google.ae/books?id=DHTpCQAAQBAJ&pg=PT8&lpg=PT8&dq=ajay+devgn+filmfare+interview+1994&source=bl&ots=2hkS8r460_&sig=uTJ4G5ihrAhgvHlfa5Wy1mJu80Q&hl=en&sa=X&ved=0CCsQ6AEwA2oVChMI3Pab74fdyAIVhtkaCh2QMw14#v=onepage&q=ajay%20devgn%20filmfare%20interview%201994&f=false
I Have Been Stabbed by People I Trusted the Most http://www.idiva.com/news-entertainment/raveena-tandon-i-have-been-stabbed-by-people-i-trusted-the-most/8735
Raveena Tandon talks about her break-up with Akshay Kumar https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sS5_hI5h1Jk
Raveena Tandon: Akshay Kumar will always remain a good friend https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BvhoN-TIs3s
Rendezvous with Simi Garewal – Raveena Tandon (2002) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j7AGwsr4tTo